I’m afraid of tornados.

Rephrase: I’m irrationally afraid of being hit by a tornado.

This fear presents itself in minor terrors, such as fear of thunder that rolls like a freight train, fear of violent storms, fear of cars without mufflers driving by during a violent storm, and fear of living in places where tornadoes are possible.

“It sounded like a freight train,” said the fine Arkansas specimen below. And so say most people who have been in tornadoes. I know. We had to watch a video about tornadoes in Earth Science, aptly titled: “It Sounded Like a Freight Train.” So that we wouldn’t forget, I guess.

Then you have the fact that Alex and I are on the second floor and I really don’t know how he could get our queen-sized mattress over the tub before a tornado hit.

The last time the tornado siren sounded in town, I made Alex hide with me in the bathroom until it stopped. He thought I was overreacting, but he humored me because I was scared.

Bleh. I can’t wait to move where we’ll just have blizzards instead of tornadoes.