I’ve been thinking about high school this morning for no particular reason. I remembered this girl in choir (I hated choir) that everyone picked on. You really wanted to feel sorry for her, and maybe defend her, and take her side of things, but she would always snap back at her attackers and be just as nasty and mean as they were, which made everyone else not want to help her, since she was being just as bad.

There was also the fact that she really wanted to be part of the in-crowd, and it was the in-crowd kids that treated her like crap. So it was always kind of obvious that it’d be impossible to get through to her.

I sometimes wish I’d said something to her, like, “Stop being such an easy victim.” Because, really, when someone is a jerk, they’re only encouraged if you respond. Or “Be the better person — don’t sink to their level.” For the obvious reason that nobody wanted to take her side when she was being just as petty and vindictive.

I also sometimes wish I’d stood up for her in public, told those other girls to chill. “Stop attacking her. You’re just doing it because you know nobody is going to defend her.” Because, really, we were all lame.

The crux of the matter, though, is that she wanted to be part of them and they made fun of her for it. She wasn’t as pretty, and they made fun of her for it. She was kind of annoying, and they got annoyed and were mean to her. The problem was how those girls treated her, but in order to solve the problem, she would have had to change. She would have had to realize that they weren’t worth the grief, that she deserved better, and then made an effort to rise above the situation.

An epiphany might have helped.

But a nice person standing up for her and then sitting her down for a little chat might have helped too. And I don’t know if anyone else did it, but I sure didn’t. And I’m sorry about that.

[Image by jynmeyer at stock.xchng.]