I don’t know how it is for other people, but talking to other writers usually leaves me pretty discouraged. It’s like there’s an unwritten code that published writers must warn the rest of us (especially those of the rest of us who are young and therefore more likely to be out of our minds with unrealistic expectations, like me) that we’re going to fail.

I’ve read the books, done my research. I know that you get a lot of rejections before anyone accepts your work. But it’s just kind of discouraging to hear all the time. It’s everywhere, that one simple line: “Expect to fail.”

And some people are so concerned with getting that through your head that they don’t tack on anything encouraging until the end, like “Expect to fail miserably at least 100 times and then maybe in 10 years you’ll find someone stupid enough to publish you.” Something like that happened to me, though I exaggerate with “stupid enough to publish you.” But the woman didn’t even bother to say something upbeat, like “Keep trying and editing, and it will happen.” She just related her own horrible experience, told me not to be surprised if the same happens to me (nonfiction writer, completely different sort of market), and left it at that.

Also, you can always tell when you act really positive about your own work that people are trying to dampen your spirits merely because you might be overconfident, and they don’t want you to get crushed by your first rejection letter. And I understand the motive, but . . . it’s freaking annoying. I’m not being upbeat about my work because I’m a moron with no sense of her own worthlessness. I’m being upbeat because I expect, one day, I’ll be published. This will only happen if I maintain a good attitude and enough determination to persevere. And it’s — I’ll say it again — freaking annoying to be gently reminded of all the failures I’ll probably have to endure. I’m not an idiot, people. I’m really, really not. So put your platitudes back in your pants, thankyouverymuch, and I’ll do my best not to fall into spineless, almost-24-year-old pieces when the publishers tell me my work “isn’t quite what they’re looking for.” I honestly think I’ll be able to not kill myself. Seriously.

(Smell the sarcasm.)

Also, sometimes when you ask for writing advice from people, they like to reiterate what they’ve heard, which is often stuff you already know, like “Don’t drop jelly donuts on your manuscript” or “Calling your publisher a Miss Thompson when his first name is Bob will get your query thrown out.”

So that’s also annoying.

And it’s all kind of gotten me down. Talking to other writers hasn’t been as, shall we say, useful as I’d hoped. Or encouraging. And I’m thinking of trying a break period where I just avoid all other writers and try to do my own thing for a while. See if I fare better in solitary conditions.

What do you think?