When you want to know more about their work.

• What genre do you write? Genre will tell you a lot about the writer and what he or she is interested in. Romance novelists don’t usually have the same interests and hobbies as horror writers, so this question is a goldmine of information and can lead deeper into the writer’s psyche. And everyone likes talking about their own psyche.
• What is your story about? Though many writers prefer to keep their plots to themselves until published or the kinks are worked out, showing interest in the story always gratifies, especially if it’s something you might like to read.

When you’ve written something.

• If you want to exchange stories and give each other feedback, I’d like that. Usually don’t offer this unless you’re actually willing to give a critique. Whether you’re the more experienced writer or they are, two writers offering help to each other can be immensely useful. If one story is longer than the other, agree to a set word count based on the shorter story so that one of you isn’t stuck with a 500 page novel and the other has a four page vignette.
• What should I do with my story now? Usually people ask “How do I get published?” which is the same thing. Lots of writers feel comfortable helping out a friend who honestly doesn’t know what to do, but the answer will almost always be: “Edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, submit to publisher, submit to another publisher, edit, edit, edit, submit, submit, submit, submit, submit times infinity.” It’s a long string of 1) you making the work good enough to publish and 2) sending it out until you find someone who wants it.

When you want them to hate you.

• Writing is such an easy job. So is your face.
  
• Yeah, I read your book. I didn’t like/get it. I said something similar to this during high school when I saw the shortest guy from my old junior high, and he hadn’t gotten any taller. I told him, “Hey! Still short?” then compounded it with, “You should grow.” Because I didn’t know what else to say. I’m sure he still hates me. Like, a lot. Like, top of his “List of People I Need to Kill.”

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Can you think of anything to add to these lists? ^_^