I just finished A Stranger to Command and am in the middle of Crown Duel, and these books make me feel like an incompetent hack with a computer full of childish scribbles.

It’s not that they’re so similar to my work, it’s just that they make me feel so strongly, and I love them so much, I can’t help but think I’m not good enough when I read them.

I am in the midst of a bit of writer’s block.  I can’t start anything new without hating every word.  I’ve been working off and on toward completing a third book in the super hero series, but I’m also still shopping around for an agent for Frostbite (now titled Cold Snap) and trying to flesh out that world in general — I’ve created five new characters to use as background noise in another story, one that actually predates Frostbite/Cold Snap in the general chronology of the series.

I figure if I can’t get F/CS up and running, I can just work on the prequel until it’s ready to shop.  It’s a little darker, and a lot of the agents I’ve looked at seem to want dark and edgy.

I’m about as edgy as bunny slippers, but I’ll see what I can whip up.

I believe in something I can’t prove, so I maintain an agnostic approach to the paranormal.  I don’t know if ghosts and psychics are real or not.  I’ll go so far as to say “maybe sometimes.”

But my rule of thumb when presented with a psychic or a ghostly experience is skepticism.  Not because I’m a hardened skeptic (I’ll listen with a sympathetic ear), but because many people who bring these things to public attention are in fact wrong.  Skeptic and debunker James Randi has a standing offer of 1 million dollars to anyone who can show him proof of paranormal phenomena.  That offer has been up since 1964 and no one has claimed it.  Thus, when presented with paranormal phenomena, my gut reaction is “Tread carefully, I’m being conned.”

(more…)

I had a great dream.  I was in a store with an allowance of $1,000 a month and I got to buy whatever clothing I wanted regardless of price.

I haven’t bought any new clothing in three years.  I still wear things my mom got me in high school.  In fact, 98% of the clothing I own?  It’s stuff my mom bought me.

My husband’s closet is worse than mine, because he only ever shopped at Goodwill in college.  His nicest shirts are (guess what?) shirts my mom bought him.

If I had an extra thousand dollars a month, you know what I’d do?

Invest it.

>_>

Ummm… Yeah.

When I eventually get a book published, this is how it’s gonna go down:

1. 10% to tithes (probably split up between charity and church).
2. 15% set aside for taxes.
3. Pay off student loans.
4. Invest.
5. Clothes shopping to replace worn-out items for both me and husband.

I pray to God that we can get to #5.  I have 10 pairs of pants and none of them fit quite right.  It’s painful.

My American History teacher in high school was awesome.  She was also in charge of Quiz Bowl, which I was part of more to spend time with friends than compete (oddly, I went to State to fill out our team because most of our hardcore players had chosen to do the state science fair instead).

So she had these Quiz Bowl buzzers in her classroom that she pulled out twice during American History to review for tests.  She split us into teams, grouped our desks together, and anyone who knew the answer could buzz in for their team.

The first time we did this, about halfway through, I gave a wrong answer.  I was on a team with Chip Girl and a boy who always seemed to be stressed out.  (They belonged to the intellectual group, whereas I belonged to the group that was too weird to hang with the intellectuals and too intellectual to hang with the freaks.  From what I could tell, my group was a lot more laid-back than theirs.)

In the test review, when I gave my wrong answer, the boy turned his head away and muttered “I knew that one” in frustration to the person on his other side.

I stared at the fake wood top of my desk and stopped giving answers.

(more…)

Sent a query with an SASE that, guess what, doesn’t have proper postage on it.

/slitwrists

Have to completely resend it and now that agent will think I’m a moron.

In fact, all my pre-prepared envelopes don’t have enough postage because I prepared them THREE YEARS AGO.  Idiot idiot idiot!

So I can’t do anything with snail mail until we get some 3 cent stamps.

Alex said “It’s just one,” but it’s really not.  It’s one out of a very limited number with a very low chance of success.  In querying, you must query every agent perfectly or they’ll just throw your materials out.  They will THROW YOU OUT.  I’m not even joking.  It’s a very very tough scene.

I’m going to go cry now.