I’m stupid.

It’s not all the economy. I mean, that started the rollercoaster of discouragement (again, another example of why I HATE listening to other writers — negative, negative, negative! — and it always gets to me!).

That planted the seed of “Then why am I bothering?”

Then I started wondering whether or not my main character is at all compelling. Then I thought up revisions I wanted to make on my second book. Then I thought “Well, if this one doesn’t get picked up (because it won’t because the economy is bad), maybe I can start with the one that comes before it chronologically.” And then I thought “Why am I searching for an agent for this one if I actually want that one to come first? Do I even want it to come first? I have no idea.”

You must keep sending work out; you must never let a manuscript do nothing but eat its head off in a drawer. You send that work out again and again, while you’re working on another one. If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success — but only if you persist. ~Isaac Asimov

To fix this unpleasant state, I’m learning to drive so that I can get some small job to get me out of the house and perhaps get me to the library. In fact, a small job at the library would be lovely, but we’ll see what I can find. Currently, it costs money to park there — parking meters and all — and I can’t make myself work at home. I’m hopeless.

This is about magic in books versus Christianity in books.

Here’s the thing — Christianity doesn’t like magic. That’s the party line. But magic also doesn’t exist. (Though I’ve said I might believe in ghosts if people weren’t always wrong about them.)

So when I find a fantasy that includes a Christian official as a one-dimensional badguy, I get a little disgruntled. Even if a second religious official is sympathetic to magical powers or beings, it’s usually an all-encompassing acceptance, which is stupid and any sensible Christian would agree. Just because a religious official doesn’t want to burn someone for witchcraft when they show magical powers does not mean he or she will be entirely comfortable or even accepting of the situation. In fact, I’m pretty sure it would freak them out. These are humans you’re designing, not puppets, and something like fantasy meeting traditional Catholicism (which is the most common choice) would very easily cause conflicting feelings in a religious character who isn’t a monster.

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Like anything new brought into my home, I wanted to make sure she was nice and clean. With dishes, I do this so I can eat off of them without worrying, but with a kitten it’s more of a “I want to rub my face in her fur without imagining her sleeping in or near her shelter litter box.”

I had to wait until I was sure she’d healed from spaying, as her stitches were water-soluble, and while I waited I looked around for some cat shampoo that wasn’t flea and tick.

I couldn’t find any at our grocery store or home improvement store (both of which had pet aisles). I’m sure we could have hunted up a pet store or ordered some online, but I only wanted to give her one bath, so I decided to look up whether or not it’s okay to bathe your cat with human shampoo.

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Like a lion or a tiger.

And I would design my yard so that I could let my guard-tiger run loose around areas of entry while we’re out.

Then I’d install a ton of cameras because, dude, if you get a burglar and he sees your guard-tiger, you want a clear shot of his expression.

*giggle*

(Would never actually do this. I wouldn’t have enough time to take care of one properly, and I wouldn’t want to own as much space as it would need. The idea is charming, though, and the thought of a burglar’s face walking into a house and being greeted by a giant cat has to be the funniest thing ever.)

I really do.

I’m not very prolific at it, but I enjoy the little thrill of knowing where stuff goes.

So when you have over 10 years of stories in a giant overflowing bin, and you want to keep every last note card because you might use it some day . . .

Where on earth are you supposed to start?

Me, I want to start with a label maker.

I have a hole puncher and a printer.

I have a ton of binders, though they’re the “Bigger is better” kind and I can’t decide if I like those or the friendly floppy ones better. I think the problem I have with binders is that once they’re organized and I have stuff in them, there’s nowhere for me to put them. Except in my doofy old bin. Out of sight, out of mind.

I do a lot of my idea organizing in Word, but then I print it out and staple it and again I can only put it in my doofy old bin.

You might say “Filing cabinet!” but that’s just as bad as my bin for hiding things. Worse, because I just don’t like flipping through tabbed folders. I don’t know why. Always hated it.

I’m thinking of getting a simple document wallet to put completed manuscripts in for editing. I found that I really like being able to pull loose-leaf out of an envelope to edit and stuff it back in without worrying that my cat will spread the pages all over the floor. I’m incapable of editing on my computer because I always forget what I’ve already done.

So . . . label maker. Maybe a cork board. Figure out a spot for my binders. Consolidate notes into a smaller space. *sigh* Nobody ever plans to have this much paper lying around, but it’s been the bane of offices for centuries. Somehow, some way, I’ll manage.

Hey, at least I got rid of a lot of crap in the move. That’s a win, right there.

The browser is the program you open (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Opera, Chrome) to browse the web in.  It has a bar toward the top with “http://” starting out a string of text, usually with .com or .php at the end.  You can set your home page (what pops up when you open your browser) through the “tools” or “options” menu.

A search engine is a website (Google, Yahoo, AOL, Bing, Ask).  You can browse to it and use it to search the web, but it is not a “browser.”

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I own the Kate Beckinsale version (also on YouTube, though the video quality is rougher) and prefer Kate’s portrayal simply because her facial expressions aren’t as exaggerated. She also has much better posture.

The 2009 version is good, and everyone does a great job (I particularly like that they made Emma insecure about how little she gets out in the world), but I just prefer the Kate Beckinsale one. It’s part personal taste (if you enjoy your leading ladies lively and haphazard, the 2009 version is for you), and partly that I enjoyed the book and the 2009 version takes a few liberties with showing scenes that are only alluded to. The Beckinsale version keeps to the book more strictly and has an overall more authentic feel.

Also, I don’t think “Dumbledore” when I look at her father. (Yes, Dumbledore is in the 2009 one. He does much better at this role than his portrayal of Dumbledore, though.)

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It’s a bit overwhelming.  I’m currently making a character tree in Photoshop, just to get everyone’s affiliations down in a visual way.  So far, I have 62 characters on the map.  Around 15 of those never even show up anywhere, and another 10 only have bit parts.

My main concern is keeping track of character’s ages in relation to each other and events. I’m awful at math, and I’m terrified of getting anyone’s age off by even a day. Silly, I know, but true.

It’s just that I want something that will keep everything in order even while I’m switching everything around.

I started looking into Timeline software with calendar options. Bee Docs looks good except that it’s for Macs. They recommend SmartDraw for Windows, though they don’t market it to writers like Bee Docs does. (I do like that you can make images of your info just by asking the program to.)

The thing is, those programs aren’t precisely for writers, though writers can use them. Programs that are for writers seem to be all about strict boxes you put your text in or offering active “word counters” (or even offering a new word processor — which I wouldn’t trust as far as a random executable file in my email) instead of allowing the user to choose their own options. Frankly, I just care about keeping all my ideas straight so I don’t make mistakes. Organizing. That’s what I need.

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“If you ever write a book and want to wrench your reader’s heartstrings, create a family and then tear it apart.”
]]> http://www.eablevins.net/wordpress/2010/02/07/professors-insight/feed/ http://www.eablevins.net/wordpress/2010/01/30/high-school/ http://www.eablevins.net/wordpress/2010/01/30/high-school/#comments Sun, 31 Jan 2010 01:58:17 +0000 EA Blevins http://www.eablevins.net/wordpress/2010/01/30/high-school/ I guess the best description of me in high school could be pulled from the INFJ personality profile:

“INFJs have a rich, vivid inner life, which they may be reluctant to share with those around them. […] [T]hey are guarded in expressing their own feelings, especially to new people, and so tend to establish close relationships slowly. INFJs tend to be easily hurt, though they may not reveal this except to their closest companions.”

I’ve always been very reserved — sometimes perceived as standoffish or uncaring — due to extreme emotional vulnerability. The people who most often recognized me behind my reserve (before I ever said a word to them) tended to be other introverts. The best (though not the only) example would be my friend Dee. She approached me softly and unexpectedly in gym freshman year and I felt an instinctive understanding with her. I saw some of my own shyness in her, but she’d reached out in her own quiet way and made it easy for me to feel safe. I believe she knew how to get past my reserve simply because she knew what it was like to be afraid of opening up.

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